Everyone in a relationship has their ups and downs. Some relationships fall down flat on their faces, some waver between ups and downs, and some have minimal low points. If one’s relationship is in a particularly bad place, making up can seem particularly hard. But it can be easy if both people are honest and communicative.
Before making the decision to make up post argument or separation, one should think about several things. He or she should make sure that they want to make up, that they want to stay in the relationship. Sometimes couples that have a terrible break up get back together very quickly, which has the potential for good. However, they may be doing it for the wrong reasons, which can only prolong the inevitable.
One bad reason to get back together is desperation. If someone was bad to you once, they will likely be bad to you again. If they claim to have “changed” they should be able to show you specific things that they have done to improve themselves. If they want to compromise with you, make sure that they will follow through. This does not mean that one should be cynical about all relationships, but to be wary that abusive relationships often stay that way.
Another reason for making up that is not so great is to do it to “get back” at someone else who broke up with you. This is particularly mean because it plays with the emotions of your ex, who may still love you. Toying with other’s hearts for personal gain is not a good trait.
However, if the reason that you want to make up with someone is because you truly care about them and want to be with them, then proceed. Of course, the other person needs to also want to make up with you. This is a crucial fact, which can lead to heartbreak for those who want to make up when the other does not.
When both parties are looking to end the fight or get back together, it is important to let certain things go. Unnecessary social conventions, biases, and stubborn opinions should be avoided in favor of real, honest communication.
It is important that the real problem get out into the open so that the couple can work through it. Simply “moving on” has the potential to simply make the problem worse over time. However, digging in too deep may also harm it. It is thus important to be honest, but to not hurt each other in the process. Work together to solve the problem(s) in your relationship. Be honest, creative, and mindful of each others’ feelings.
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