The design of humans is complex and one unique feature is their need to interact with others. This helps individuals clarify who they are, helps them understand the thinking and views of others, and helps to a source of support which is needed in order to learn from and resolve day to day issues. According to The Magic Of Making Up, the fact men and women view events differently is part biology and part psychology.
It’s important to understand that, psychologically and biologically, men and women are designed to react to conflict differently. Women have a tendency to play the role of peacemakers in relationships. This is not to say that a female may not start a fight, but once involved their desire is to end the fight as soon as possible. Studies show that the cortisol levels of women increase before and during a fight then drop significantly leaving them to feel more satisfied if it is ended sooner rather than later.
The passive partner in any conflict is the male. They would rather avoid fights altogether if possible so are much more reluctant to face difficult issues head-on in order to resolve issues in such a way as to satisfy both parties.
Studies also found that men who have relationships with women who are secure in themselves, will have lower levels of anxiety. For women, however, how secure their partner was didn’t seem to make a difference in the level of anxiety they experienced.
Due to continuing biological and psychological changes as people age, studies conducted by the National Institute of Mental Healthy revealed that young couple dealt with conflict differently than those who were older. Frequently, couples between the ages of 18 and 21 would withhold intimacy when fighting which often led to feelings of rejection and abandonment. This resulted in an increase in the anxiety level of both men and women of this age. Again, security level and level of anxiety were closely associated from the beginning of the fight through its conclusion.
There are many methods for resolving conflict in relationships, but understanding the difference between the thinking patterns of men and women were felt to be important to accepting the views of others and resolving disagreements. There appears to be no specific reason for this difference even though it is felt to be biological in nature. One resource that is proving quite effective is The Magic Of Making Up which provides a step-by-step guide and recommendations for building relationships that last a lifetime.
The Magic Of Making Up helps to develop healthy relationships. Get the low down now in our complete Magic Making Up guide.
