Posts Tagged ‘advice’

Winning Over Cheating: Getting My Ex Back

Sunday, September 5th, 2010

Relationships fall apart for some reasons that sometimes very hard to comprehend. The same thing when couples want to make it up with each other. Maybe they did not find the happiness they’re looking for with the third parties involved. Love will always find a way.

Knowing that the love has never ceases, it brings a new hope for both to renew the love and affection. There is no sense if your purpose is to have the other party suffer to give him/her a doze of his/her medicine – forget it.

It needs both parties to work out the relationship. You can’t do it alone – it takes two to call it a relationship. You don’t have to force yourself or your ex partner to bring back what you had started if you are not yet ready to deal with your emotions. Being in a commitment especially involving the word forever, really takes a lot of patience and understanding; how you grow up as a better person is a product of a progressive relationship.

Renewing a relationship is not the same with driving on a straight, well-maintained highway; it’s a long, rocky road that you need to experience. If you’re not keen, you may lose track and you’ll find yourself trapped in a narrow road of frustrations.

When in a relationship, you can’t avoid the ups and downs; twist and turns of it. It’s a matter of taking control of the situation. How much more when you’ve been to painful past and here you are trying to restore the trust, love and affection for each other? It’s going to be a bumpy ride on the way to get to the spot you want.

Don’t forget to bring the right tool on your journey. Along with you are your emotions, experience and determination. You’ll get to encounter hurricanes of doubts and other unpleasant emotions but with the right armor, you’ll get over it, as long as you know that certain things happen and we can’t avoid them.

Reach out as far as you can. It is one step of being a better person. Stop acting like you were never married. If you commit mistakes, accept and apologize.

It’s a no, no if you’re being too forgetful of the special occasions you usually celebrate together. Women wanted to feel how much they are valued. For men, they say, they are less complicated than women so little things can be that big. Win over the gap that is separating you from each other. Involve close persons and make them your way to his/her heart.

Instead of thinking how to make things right, make them happen by sorting out the real cause of the fall out. There’s nothing you can do to change it but there is something you can do to deal with the issues that you had just sorted out, in case it will happen again. Don’t just beg on bended knees to get things back. Stand tall and be confident to face and do something about the issue.

Be ready for the result – that’s the most important of all. Whatever it is, you need to accept the truth with confidence. You can rejoice if you win the game but you can still smile if it doesn’t. Win or lose, be the best of being what you are.

Learn to survive after the breakup by reading this outline http://www.howtogetmyexback.com. The guy who has secretly helped over 50,000 people on 77 countries reunite with their ex under some of the most extraordinary circumstances is going to help you answer the question how to get my ex boyfriend back.

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Does An Unfaithful Ex Deserve Another Chance?

Saturday, September 4th, 2010

If your marriage broke up painfully because your ex has cheated, you will usually find yourself face to face again with your ex, wooing you again for another chance. You will be in a dilemma of either giving another chance but living in fear of being fooled again; or turning down that chance of a new leaf yet bearing regret and what ifs. Your ex may ask for another chance the minute you discover the infidelity or after years of separation but either way it is not an easy choice. All the pain, fear, love and hope will start exploding again like hidden landmines . There will be a great battle of emotions inside you that makes it hard to decide. Although at times your love for your ex and the importance of your marriage wins over the pain and hate, don’t just jump into the first opportunity of reconciliation right away. Think it over. Ask your ex the following questions that will definitely help simplify the decision-making process.

Why are you interested in a second chance? This is an important question. You need to understand that your ex is choosing you and you need to know why. Are you going to have to worry about someone else coming along in the not so distant future and turning the head of your ex again or can your ex convince you that this time is for keeps?

What is my assurance that you can stand a fight against temptation? This is a question that needs to be answered. It is time to put your ex in the spot of interrogation. Let your ex feel the stress and humiliation. No need to feel pity for him/her. Before jumping to this “second chance”, protect your heart first. Safeguard yourself from experiencing another pandemonium of rage, humiliation, and pain; avoid going through another series of misery and agony. How can your ex guarantee that there won’t be another set of lies, deception, and cheating? Why a change of heart? Why won’t your ex cheat anymore, does he/she has the strength to run and hide from an illicit attraction? It’s pretty much true and any person would want to hear the answers to it so don’t hesitate. Ask. You deserve an answer.

Is there a Gordian knot in our marriage that compelled you to cheat? To cinch the reconciliation in good terms, you have to be aware as well of the real cause why your partner cheated. Could there be some habits of yours that your ex is not happy about? Does your ex feels unimportant and left out because you are the only one who makes the decision or you make your ex feel that he/she is not a part of the big picture? Figure this out and find ways to fix it. A relationship is about “give-and-take”, everything has a “cause-and-effect”. Give your ex what he/she wants and in return take his/her loyalty. Do not make any “cause” so there won’t be any bad “effect”. Running away from temptation is good but you still have to resolve the root of the problem. You have to do your share of work in keeping the marriage afloat. If your ex knows that temptation can be avoided then there is a big chance that it won’t happen again but it would be best if you do not give out a reason for your ex to cheat. If you know that there is something in you that needs to be changed then do it, if not then don’t expect a happy and lasting reconciliation.

Do you still love me? This is the paramount of all the questions, the foundation of your marriage. And to build a better bedrock, ask the same question to yourself as well. But if you know that you no longer have any feelings for each other, say, maybe you just want top keep the marriage to save yourselves from wagging tongues, then stop. This could cause more issues than what you already have. So ask yourselves what you still feel for each other. If you know that you love your ex still, and can feel deep in you that he/she loves you back, then don’t stop. But it is still important to hear the question answered by your ex. And look into your ex’s eyes and body language to support those sweet words.

Watch this free video: http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up3.html before you do anything so you can avoid this one mistake that too many people in your situation make. Check here for free reprint licence: Does An Unfaithful Ex Deserve Another Chance?.

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Cheating Made Me Realize How Much I Love My Wife – How Can I Win Her Back?

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

I had been unfaithful to my wife but then, I woke up to the true depth of my love for her. I was more than willing to save our relationship because it meant so much to me. Sad to say, but losing her trust and the pain I caused her made it hard for her to understand my plea for a second chance.

This happens more often than not. We have to be struck hard in the head first before we realize our mistake and the value of what we have. Being with another woman makes you feel like your fantasy has come true. And this seemingly perfectly-happy feeling blinds you from reality. You do not see, yet, the flaws, the nagging, and the complete package. But when you are already deep into it, then you will see what it really is; a huge, ugly mistake. Then you will see the mess and muck you have to go through. It is not even worth it, and you will long for your normal marriage, the reality.

Nobody said that cheating and marriage work together. Definitely not! So don’t expect to run back to your wife with her arms ready to embrace you back, because like it or not, she definitely won’t. All hell will break lose once she knew that you cheated on her. She has her own emotions, especially her rage, to tame. She might not open her ears to your explanation that easily.

Her feelings are all caught up in a tornado and she can’t control it easily, nor can you. But understanding these emotions and learning how to handle them can shorten that period of disaster and win her back. These are just a few among the long list of emotions a scorned woman feels:

Lack of Confidence

The first thing your wife did when she found out you were cheating on her is began comparing herself to the other woman. No matter how many times she did it, she always come up short of the other women in one way or another. That’s the only way she can see you cheating on her and hurting her like that – by seeing that the other woman is something or has something she does not.

She will feel shabby, ugly and stupid; whereas she thinks that the other is fun, smart, sexy, and beautiful. She keeps pointing out her flaws and yet is unconsciously saying that the said flaw is a good trait of the other.

Your mission is to convince your wife that she is the epitome of perfection in your eyes and that the other woman couldn’t possibly hold a candle to her.

Wound

The fact that you cheated on your wife hurt her feelings on a level she may not have even realized she could hurt. She loves you and believes in your marriage. The fact that you were with another woman goes even deeper because it erodes the trust she has in you.

There is no way to make up for the pain you’ve cause your wife by cheating. Besides, there is no reason to cheat no matter how much you defend yourself. In the long run, it is still wrong. The pain might go away but it will take time and a lot of things will be lost between you and your wife, especially trust and respect. Yet, if you value your marriage and love your wife, make small gestures and favors to apologize for the pain and most of all to show your love and sincerity.

In the end you can get your ex wife back even though you’ve cheated on her. You might need a little help to make it happen though. Free reprint avaialable from: Cheating Made Me Realize How Much I Love My Wife – How Can I Win Her Back?.

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4 Reasons Apologizing Helps Win Your Ex Back – Even If You Were Not The One Who Cheated

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

You don’t have to be the one who cheated to end the relationship in order to take the right step to save your marriage in the end. Cheating can destroy relationships. There’s no doubt about that at all. There is doubt about the fact that the cheater is the only one who has anything to apologize for. Here are four reasons it’s a good idea to apologize even though you weren’t the one who cheated.

1) No one is perfect. It really is that simple. You need no reason beyond that to apologize. No matter how great the relationship was or how good you tried to be to your ex there are some things you did in the relationship that caused strife or just drove your ex up a wall. Apologizing acknowledges that you may have contributed to the problems in the relationship and accepts responsibility for the role you did play.

2) Use your own words. Do not hire or have someone else say your apology. It should be sincerely composed and delivered. Let your mind coordinates with your heart. A sincere word of apology will go a distance. It would be better if you put it into action.

3) Admit what you did. Admit the things you did that made that shivered the relationship. Don’t say sorry while you’re blaming the other person for what happened. Nothing is more insulting than an apology that points at the other person.

4) You know your ex is worth the price of an apology. You want to save your relationship and an apology will open the dialog between the two of you. It’s a small price to pay to get the conversation going and possibly work your marriage out once and for all. You know, better than anyone, how much this step can mean for your future and you need to be willing to take it if you really want to get your ex back.

Don’t think for one second that you can’t get your ex husband back without jumping through some pretty amazing hoops. That really isn’t the case. Also published at 4 Reasons Apologizing Helps Win Your Ex Back – Even If You Were Not The One Who Cheated.

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5 Ways To Make Your Marriage Work After Cheating

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

It’s never easy for any couple to make the marriage sail smoothly again after excruciatingly discovering your partner has cheated on you. When we talk about your relationship being at stake, you want to fix it as much as you can. These quick fix-ups can assist you and your partner strengthen your marriage more.

1) Make it a team effort. You can’t make things better on your own. You need to be able to work together and talk together to find out where the breakdown occurred. You may have cheated on your own but you didn’t get to the place in your marriage where the breakdown began by yourself. It will take two to make it right again.

2) Be willing to walk away from old arguments. While you need to settle problems that keep arising, it’s time to stop bringing old arguments into new ones. You need to either fix the problem, forgive your spouse, and forget all about it or make the decision now to end the marriage. You’ll both be happier as a result and the chance of your marriage succeeding after cheating will increase exponentially.

3) Be strong enough to bend. Part of the reason that many people cheat is that the fairy tale expectations of what marriage will be like rarely live up to the reality of married life. Both of you are going to have to bend your expectations a little bit and meet somewhere in the middle. Sit down and decide what is necessary, what is preferable, and what you can each live without in your marriage. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

4) Embrace challenges and difficulties as they come. But be ready to work on it together. Both of you have to give something up for the sake of your marriage’s success. What changes are you willing to make and how many? Will that be enough? Don’t expect an overnight miracle because that won’t happen. Take small steps one at a time toward that goal, and you’ll find yourself a step away from “happily married”.

5) Ask. You spouse is not a mind reader. Tell your spouse what you need. Expecting your partner to know and give your wants and needs is the biggest wrong impression in marriage. Don’t expect your wife to bring a cup of coffee to your study every night, nor let your husband take you out for dinner every time you have your hair and nails done in the salon earlier in the afternoon. Your minds are not in sync and you definitely have no third eye. So learn to ask each other want you want or like from each other, then of course, do it.

While it’s great to know the five things you should do, it’s also important to learn the one thing you must never do. Watch this free video to find out what that is: http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up3.html. Also published at 5 Ways To Make Your Marriage Work After Cheating.

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