If you want to get an ex boyfriend back you are faced with the problem of how to do so. Unfortunately, this isn’t a course taught in high school or college. Friends and relatives who mean well are usually more than willing to give their advice, but that is not always the best source for information and trying to follow their advice often leads only to frustration. What you need is a plan that has been proven to work if you are willing to follow it.
The first step you need to take is to distance yourself from your ex. Do not make attempts to contact him for at least a month. Give yourself some time to get over the shock of the breakup. Not only does this send a message to him it also helps you preserve your sanity. Just play it cool. Don’t let your ex know right away that you want to get back together. Keep that desire to yourself and do your best to distance yourself from him.
Keeping your distance may be harder to do than you would think. Some women just cannot do it. They think if they continually do nice things for their ex boyfriends they will be seen as someone the guy can’t get along without. They think they are proving to them how much they are loved. This seldom works because either the guy gets tired of the woman being around all the time or else he starts to take advantage of her. No one wants to be in either situation.
This step will require a lot of attention on your part because it will involve doing exactly the opposite of what you want to do at this time. You have to focus on you and not on your ex boyfriend. Using all your time and emotional energy thinking about your ex boyfriend will do nothing to accomplish your goal of getting him back. Do not spend your time sitting at home wallowing in self pity. Be with your family and friends as much as possible. I know this is hard for you to believe right now but keeping your spirits up will help you win your ex back.
Recognizing that each of you were at fault in what went wrong in the relationship is the next step in determining how to get an ex boyfriend back. At this point focusing on what he did will serve no purpose. You have to think only about your role in the relationship and see what your issues, attitude, behavior, etc. were that caused problems. Identifying these is not enough; you now have to be willing to change them as needed. If you need to talk with a professional counselor do so at once.
The final step consists of apologizing, forgiving and forgetting. Even though you accept that both of you were part of the problem you may realize that you were the main reason for the breakup. If you did something that you know hurt him enough to call it quits then you have to apologize to him. The apology has to be sincere and lay no blame at his feet. In other words, you can’t apologize then try to rationalize your behavior based on something he may or may not have done. To have any chance of getting an ex boyfriend back if you were the main cause if the breakup, you have to be willing to take total responsibility for your actions.
Not all steps in getting an ex boyfriend back are easy and this one may be the most difficult. If he is the one who was primarily the cause of the breakup and you really want to reconcile with him you have to be able to let everything go and forgive and forget the entire incident. You have to be willing to never bring it up again in any way. If you are still harboring a grudge about what happened you have to let that go too. This complete letting go is the only way you will be able to have a successful relationship with him.
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